Yes or No?

It’s a delicate matter hitting on a girl if you don’t know for sure she’s gay, and you don’t know if she knows you are.

You had a great conversation, really hit it off. You asked for her number and she gave it. But does she think you just want to be friends?

You ask her out.

“It was great meeting you. I’d love to see you again. Coffee Dinner next Wednesday?”

She says yes. But dinner could just be dinner! If you were a guy she’d automatically think you were hitting on her… but you’re not so this could go both ways.

Every exchange leading up to dinner, and then the largest part of dinner itself make you feel like a detective on a mysterious and complicated case. You’re watching her every move, analyzing her every word. EYE CONTACT you remind yourself. Look her in the eyes… straight girls wouldn’t do that so much.

But you can’t go overboard either. The entire restaurant could be filled with potential homophobes. She might be gay, but she might not be. If she is, she might be discrete, and not like the attention that could come from some words, moves, gestures (like flowers?). If she is not, the idea that you are hitting on her might offend her. That’s a scene you want to avoid.

Sigh. So much to think about and consider.

When it works out, we often look at this entire process as “fun”. We giggle about it snuggled up on the sofa. Oh how silly we were!

But truth be told, I can’t wait for the day when I can have an intriguing conversation with a woman, get her number, and follow it up with a clear and blunt “Would you go out on a date with me?”, knowing full well that her reaction can only be one of two different responses; Yes or No. And nothing more.

– Yakhne

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