To Send or not to Send

I stare at my phone. I have set it down before me. Holding it in my hands is too tempting.

She’s not interested. She was just being friendly. You don’t know her, maybe she was just being polite.
She’ll think you’re easy. She’ll think you’re lame. She’ll think you’re desperate.

A barrage of similar thoughts pounds through my head; I press my palm against my temple as reinforcement against the relentless onslaught. I’ve tried, but I cannot seem to think of anything else. I sit motionless, my eyes fixated on my phone, as if in a stupor or a daze, and I allow myself to fall down the rabbit hole.

In a manner devoid of grace I am yanked out of my well of thoughts by someone calling my name inconsiderately; can’t they see I’m lost in thought?

Faced with the knowledge that I have been beckoned, that I will have to leave my cocoon of hesitation albeit unwillingly, I take my phone in my hands and draft the first message that comes to mind and without a second thought I hit send.

Don’t hold your breath.
Don’t hold your breath.
Don’t hold your breath.

 I hold my breath.

She responds.

– Rice