lesbian lebanon osashob

A Favorite Memory

“This has to stop” she says. Her voice is firm and sure, but her eyes are fixated on my lips oblivious to the contradictory meaning of the words just spoken.

Something had happened a the day before. We had gotten drunk, and with the alcohol the inhibitions lifted. I remember flirting profusely, saying things that sober me would have laughed out loud at. I remember my hand on her thigh, slowly but not at all subtly making its way up her leg. I remember what was a blissful night that ended in a pleasant farewell as we each went our separate ways.

Then the morning came, and with it the realization that something had happened, inevitably leading to the text message on my phone reading simply “We need to talk”. Yes we do.

We met somewhere we knew we’d have privacy. We were alone. No one would interrupt us or overhear us.

“It was a mistake, I was – WE were drunk!” she continued. I agreed. I wasn’t paying attention to her words. I was more interested in the direction of her gaze. We were both sober now, and it was still there. The attraction had not faded away as the blood-alcohol levels subsided. In fact it had intensified; it was now reinforced by memories of the night before.

She was still talking. “…and that’s it. Never again. Ok?” The last word, the question; her voice wavered ever so slightly as she uttered it. Her eyes now met mine, and she waited for my response.

I smiled my coy crooked smile; a smile that the night before she had confided in me drives her crazy. I observed her reaction, my final weighing in of my next course of action; I was satisfied. I leaned in and kissed her, hot and fast.

I was forceful; there was nothing sweet about my kiss. I wanted her and the moment our lips made contact¬†it just poured out of me. And for the first few seconds she was on the receiving end. Her lips devoured by mine, her body curving to match my forward lean…but only for a few seconds. Then she pushed back, my desire dwarfed by hers as she let go.

That remains one of my favorite memories to date.


lesbian lebanon osashob


What are boundaries in love?? I met her in my girlfriend’s birthday. I know, first thought “what an asshole” … but my girlfriend and I… ex-girlfriend i mean, we were on and off for like a year. It Never worked between us. Never! For a year we only fought. In that year we were together for like two months… but anyway (asshole alert again) back then, i left her for another girl… Okay lets clear things out a little, lets call them A B and C … So the on and of was with A, and I left her for for B, then got back to her… B left me after a month claiming that she lost the “magic”, so I came back to A and again things weren’t working. Everyone knew we weren’t good with each other. We knew that too. But we needed one another at the time. Then came A’s birthday. And C was there, why? Because my dear readers, C is A’s ex, her first love, the one who broke her heart. I swear back then I had no intentions. But then I traveled to France, because my movie was being screened in a festival… So we started talking. I never wanted to hurt A… We were over at the time but I didn’t want to cross “Boundaries”. Two months later, I had to do something. That girl had me fall for her, she made me fall for her smile, her eyes, her intelligence… She made me fall! I was never a relationship person. I get bored as easily as I fall. But with her it was different, it was the first time that I actually take my time, I mean I did wait for two months to finally tell her ” I want you, I want you to be mine” and while she had her eyes closed because we were kissing, she nodded to say yes. Never have I loved a Yes that much in my entire life. Now we have been together for 5 months. 5 amazing months, and I am so in love with her… so as I was very happy for the past 5 months, life decided to give me a slap on my face: ” you are going to finish your studies somewhere else or we are cutting you off”. It seems easy to just say “cut me off I am staying with my girlfriend” … But it’s not. And now all I can think about is “what to do now?” Should I leave the house, and just go live with her as we planned? ( I’ll be cut off, searching for a job, and i have absolutely no professional experience whatsoever) Or Should I leave, go study for a year and come back to her; here’s the problem of “will she wait? – will she still love me when I am back?” So I crossed the boundaries to be with the one I love… But what now? -SheCallsMeBearyBoo

lesbian lebanon osashob

Facebook Says I’m Single

How we end up in the same cafe I don’t know, but there we are. We’re exchanging pleasantries; it’s been years since we’ve spoken. But there is something flirty about my tone. As I get up to leave, the words I speak hint that I’d like him to call me, to make a move.

And then I wake up, my girlfriend still fast asleep beside me. What a stupid dream about my last boyfriend who I broke up with about 4 years ago. I know where it came from though; it came from Facebook.

Let me explain. The night before I had stumbled onto his Facebook page. He’s married now, and his feed is full of cute pictures of him and his wife doing mundane things while smiling big happy smiles, collecting likes and comments from their circles.

Seeing those pictures had an effect on me. It wasn’t seeing him, or seeing him happy. That was fine. I don’t long for him in secret. In fact I haven’t longed for any man ever since I upgraded to the “gentler” sex. On the contrary, I know our breakup hurt him and I am sincerely happy for him; he is a good man.

What got to me was that his personal life, his relationship with his wife, was so public; so easy to share. All of his friends and family could see pictures of them being happy together which might sound like a small insignificant thing when you have it, much more significant when you don’t.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years now, and we’re happy. But ¬†every now and then I find myself longing for the simplicity that being with men offered. I find myself wishing I could post a stupid picture of us and enjoy the likes and comments of our friends and families telling us how awesome we look together.

A few weeks ago I snapped a picture while in bed of the light coming in through the window and posted it to instagram. Moments later, I noticed that her foot had made it into the frame and I raced to take the picture down. Such a close call. So careless of me. So frustrating that such things need to be worried about!

I suppose it’s that feeling that drove me to writing for this blog; the desire to share my stories. And it really does feel good to share them.